just a couple thoughts on a monday morning:

say you work at a place with a lot of employees and newly limited hours. and say you don't really get many hours on your schedule for the week, and say you complain out loud about said lack of hours. and say someone else was willing to give you one of their shifts because they would rather have the day off to, oh i don't know, study and catch up on the 18 million things they need to do for the week and just so happened to get scheduled on the one night that makes finishing all of that stuff annoyingly difficult. hypothetically speaking. why be a prick and decide you don't want that shift because it's later in the day and therefore probably a little more work than the morning shift? i mean, i get it, i guess. but if you complain about hours and then get offered hours you wouldn't have otherwise, why wouldn't you take them? 

i'm probably biased in this clearly hypothetical situation because 9.5 times out of 10 i take someone's shift if they need it covered and i'm able to. because why wouldn't i want more money? why wouldn't i want more hours? i mean granted if i'm scheduled 5 days, i usually won't pick up a 6th shift, but i mean if i can and they really need me to, why not?

this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. people are dicks. 




i have my first test on wednesday. i have a quiz the same day. this weekend was insane and all over the place so of course i haven't started studying for either. figures. 

it's september. it's almost the middle of september. EXCUSE ME WHILE I VOMIT REAL QUICK, BRB.

this week starts my official first full week of classes. technically the first week i didn't have my bio lab, and most of my classes didn't last more than 20 minutes, so this is the first week i'm going to every class for the full amount of time. starting with bio lab tomorrow at 8am. i'm not really excited. 

but i mean, i guess i am. i'm lucky, i know this. i'm lucky to be back in school and i'm lucky to have a great affordable school nearby. i'm really glad to be back in school even if it's already causing me to want to rip my hair out and curl up into a little ball and sleep for the next week and a half. 

i guess 95% of the reason i'm doing so well is because i'm not trapped by myself all the time. i don't know if you know me, but i'm not really good when i'm by myself for prolonged periods of time. which is why i despised my single room at nova, because friends were essentially non-existant and i couldn't sit in that room alone all the time. i don't know, i think back to that time and i realize i should have done a lot of things differently, and there's probably a lot of people i should apologize to for being such an annoying shit to live with, but i don't really think it matters to any of them. but now i realize what i need to do to get by in school, and that doesn't include sleeping through every class i can manage. so far, so good. 

though i had a bit of an incident on friday which included electricity conveniently going out after the alarm first went off and i set it for a later time cause i decided i really didn't need to be up that early. and i kinda missed my history class. but i mean, shit happens. i just can't slip into a pattern of missing classes, so FROM HERE ON OUT I'M NOT GONNA MISS ANY EVER. 

and i've gone around telling everyone at work that i'm going to get a 4.0 this semester, and most of them laughed at me. but in all seriousness, i think i can get close. i'll be happy with anything above a 3.5, so that's realistically what i'm shooting for. 

other than school, and work (which is the same ol, same ol), things are good. sam's birthday's coming up in a couple weeks, (he'll be 23, omg we are GETTING SO OLD) so i've been collecting presents here and there for him, and OH MAN IS SOMEONE SPOILED. though this is gonna really kill me in november when i can't think of a single thing to get him for christmas because i got him everything for his birthday. i'm not really good at this whole present thing, i like spoiling people. what a lucky dude =P


i'm still happy. i'm still in a good place. and that's something to be proud of.

 so, i'm finally in school. and that obviously means i need to start updating my livejournal more because i need more things to procrastinate with :). 

sike. well, kind of. i actually have a ton of time between my classes during the days so i've gotten the majority of my work done early. and i've even started some stuff ahead of time, which is like the equivalent of the apocalypse right there. this one procrastinates like it's her JOB. 

classes are alright so far. it's not too much work, and the actual classes aren't too boring, thank god. i have 2 3-hour long classes but they don't seem too horrible just yet. i'm actually really happy that i'm back in school, as weird as that sounds. i feel a lot better this time around. i've got a pretty good handle on everything, even though i'm in school and working. it might get a little overwhelming later on but i think i can do this. 

it's very rare that i love life as much as i do right now, so i'm trying to sit back and hold onto it and keep it this way for as long as i can.





oh, and i'm going to see brand new in november and i am the happiest little thing ever. the new cd is amazing. aaaammmmaaazzziiinnngggg.

 i start classes on monday.

WHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH MYSELF. 

pretty sure i won't be able to sleep until then.

it's august. WHERE DID THIS SUMMER GO? I WANT IT BACK RIGHT THIS SECOND.

i start classes on the 31st. i'm peeing my pants with excitement and anxiety. i kind of can't screw up school anymore and i'm starting to slightly freak out about that.


i can do this, i can do this, i can doooo this.

right?

i love sam. like, a lot. enormously. i'm finally over all the guilt and anxiety and the paranoia i feel about our relationship. i'm not worried. just something about us lately clicks. and i love it.

you guys. i got a blackberry. and it's one of the best things i've done with my life. after my macbook. and i guess after deciding to date sam, or something. ;)

figured i'd update with something positive. i just got back from spending some time in the poconos with sam and his family, it was pretty awesome. got drunk. tripped over a chair and scraped my knuckle off, no big deal.

i go back to school in a little over a month. HOW WEIRD IS THAT?

next weekend i get to see billy joel & elton john with my boy. i'm pumpeeddddd.

and tomorrow i get to go to the phillies game with my parents and sam, and i'm excited for that too, considering i have yet to go to the new phillies stadium and i'm pretty sure it's not even 'new' anymore.


ugh can summer never end please?

i probably told you this, but my puppy died yesterday. well, i mean, technically she was sam's puppy, and even MORE technically she turned into his parents' puppy. sam got her for his 21st birthday, almost 2 years ago, and she was the cutest little thing you have probably ever seen. he named her lily ann because his dad loved that name, and he always liked it too, and i guess it was the closest thing to a kid he was having for a long time haha. she was only 6 weeks old and she practically fit into the palm of your hand. at the time i was pretty much spending every night at sam's apartment anyways, so we both stayed up all night while she cried and cried and cried and couldn't sleep. i mean, he did more of the house-training than i did, but you know, i still called her my baby. we taught her how to fetch. we taught her a lot of little things. she was a really sweet puppy, and just got cuter and shaggier as she got older. when sam moved out of his apartment into his current one, he wasn't allowed to have lily there, so his parents took her in. and from what i knew, his dad was never really into pets or anything. but they loved lily so much, and they spoiled her pretty rotten. and it was awesome. we helped put doggy doors in so she could go in and outside whenever she wanted, and they had all sorts of toys and comfy beds for her. she definitely had it made.

then yesterday i missed a few phone calls from sam's mom around 8am. and she left a message saying that something had happened with lily and to try to get in touch with sam (which is nearly impossible, since he doesn't have a cell phone). so i called her back and we figured sam was on his way to work, since it was still really early and traffic is horrible on that drive, so we'd wait to get a hold of him. she told me that she had woken up and lily had bled all over the house and they found her outside and she was barely alive, but still breathing, so they took her into the animal hospital, but the vets weren't sure what was wrong with her. and since she started getting better, sam's mom left the hospital and was just planning on waiting it out.

but then i got another call not that long after, and she said that lily got much worse all of the sudden and they didn't think she was going to make it, and to try to find sam since he wasn't at work yet. so i got up and drove to his apartment, luckily he was still there, and told him what happened. he started getting dressed and called his mom, and at that point she was saying lily wasn't doing well at all, then she got a phone call saying lily wouldn't make it.

ugh, i felt so horrible. we drove to sam's parents' house, and his mom was really upset. i mean, i've never really lost a pet before, so i can't fully empathize, and i felt horrible about that too. i was really upset because i loved that little dog even if i didn't see her very often over the past year. she was my first little baby. our first little baby. but man, when his dad came home i nearly lost it. he was so upset. i knew he'd been crying, and that just broke my heart. he loved lily practically like a grandchild. and that's coming from a man who didn't like pets at all.

i'm definitely bummed. it really just came out of nowhere. the vets didn't know why it happened or anything, they couldn't find any evidence that maybe she ate something toxic or anything like that. they could have done a test for rat poisioning, but no one really saw a point in that. ugh but it was just horrible, i feel so bad that she had to die like that. it's horrible, but i'm glad i waited to go to sam's apartment, and i'm glad we kind of waited to drive up there, because i don't know if i could have handled seeing lily hooked up to oxygen machines and barely alive. she wasn't even 2 years old yet, she still had a lot of energy and was just a cute happy little puppy, and that's how i want to remember her, you know?

i guess it's weird writing so much about a little dog. but still. i know pets die, and i know death is a part of life and all, but its still sad nonetheless. i'm gonna miss the little fluffball that peed on the carpets because she was so excited to see us. she was pretty cute.

from mrschucknoblet 

Leave me a comment saying "DIFFICULT, DIFFICULT, LEMON DIFFICULT"
I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you better.
Update your journal with the answers to the questions.
Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions

( woooooo )

well, i'm pretty horrible at keeping this updated, that's for sure.

so, as for school, i just found out today that all but 3 of my credits are transferring over, which is amazing. the class that didn't transfer over was a freshman seminar class that i didn't expect to transfer over anyways. so that puts me back in my first semester of my junior year. which, i mean, is weird, but it's better than nothing. i'm not exactly sure, but i may be able to get out of there in 3 semesters, depending on how i can schedule things. i mean, i'm not in a huge rush, i could use next summer for an internship or something, so we'll see how it all goes. i want to pick up a minor for finance i think, so i have to see how that will work out also. i'm pretty nervous to be jumping back into classes considering how horrible my memory is... it should be interesting. i just have to push myself, which i always say but seriously, this time it's gotta happen. but i think i finally have my head on straight and i should be able to knock this out. i finally feel like i'm doing this for me as opposed to everyone else, so i think that's gonna make a big difference. at least, i hope.

i'm still living my retail life at ae. tonight is night 2 of the back to school floorset... which i'm kind of excited for. the clothes are pretty cute, the store looks awesome so far (we did the women's stuff last night). though i was like, dying when i was supposed to leave for work yesterday, so i ended up going in like 3 hours late. i always pick really convenient days to get sick... i swear. and i felt weird because i'm sure people thought i was just hungover, which wasn't the case at all.

as for the 4th, i just went over to sam's parent's house for their yearly party, even though somehow in the 2 years i've been with sam i haven't gone to the 4th of july party for various reasons. i think the first year was when we 'broke up' for a little bit cause i'm an idiot. and then last year was the same kind of thing, we were in a weird spot. but not this year, woooooooot hah. it was alright, we hung out in the pool for a bit then ate, then sam decided he wanted to pass out on the couch so i watched hannah montana with his cousin... haha. i didn't drink too much, suprisingly. it was pretty fun though, sam's family is pretty entertaining. i mean any night that ends with moms doing keg stands works for me haha :)

but yeah, i can't believe it's already july! we have family coming to stay with us for 2 weeks in august, and before that i'm moving from this room into the slightly bigger room at the end of the hall. i only really want to do it because i'll be able to lay my room out differently and move my desk to the front of the room instead of the back. this way i'll actually use it as a desk, not a place to pile all my crap haha. plus i have to get studious pretty soon...

alright i should go relax and maybe nap before i have to be in at work at 9. hope everyone had a good 4th :) 

i got accepted to wcu!!!! =D

now i just have to mentally prepare myself for the return to college life... ughhh. i'm not sure how many of my credits transfer over just yet, but hopefully most of them do. though, to be quite honest, i wouldn't mind a do-over on a lot of them, considering i just remember things on a test-to-test basis while i'm in school. it's about time for that clean slate.

now if i can just get myself motivated to start kicking ass in all the other aspects of my life, i'll be good.

so i applied to west chester in march. i had my transcripts sent a little bit after, but still. it's june. i should have heard something by now, right? i think so at least. i called the admissions office today, and the lady just told me to send an email and they'd look into it. so, i did. but i'm nervous. i need to be back in school. i might see if signing up for summer 2 classes will help me any... i should have probably thought about that before, but whatever.

i was looking up apartments in california yesterday. i found a good amount under $1000/month. which is suprising, i think, considering that's how much sam pays, and that's how much i would expect to pay if i stayed around here. and renting a budget truck would be like a grand too. but still.

why the fuck am i still sitting here? i need to get myself in gear. seriously. i need to start saving money. i need to get back in school. i need to do SOMETHING. i have no idea why i'm so perfectly content just sitting around doing nothing when i'm not working. i have zero motivation. why? what the hell is wrong with me?

(apparently i'm big on biggie lately.) (omg see what i did there?)

EVERYTHING YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME:

1. First Name: mia
2. Age: twenty-two EW GROSS
3. Location: west chester, pa
4. Occupation: i work essentially full time at american eagle. though i'm technically 'part time' even though i work 40 hrs/week. WHATEV.
5. Partner: i've been with sam for 2 years now :)
6. Kids: nonezo
7. Brothers/Sisters: one of each, both younger. (melanie - 18, buddy - 15)
8. Pets: at my parents house i have a lhasa apso named roxy, and sam has a lhasa apso that i count as half mine named lily. both are freaking cute as hell.
9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
(1) work and my lack of money (you know this)
(2) trying to get back into college
(3) mmmm that's pretty much it. little hobbies here and there (baking, knitting, whatev)
10. School: i used to go to villanova university, i left for a semester, tried to go back and got royally screwed and could no longer afford it, so i'm trying to transfer to west chester university. and if that doesn't work out, i should just move.
11. Parents: ARE MENTAL. seriously. i don't talk about them much but they're crazy. mom - julie, dad - matt, they live together but i have no idea what their ~marital status is, cause they were 'separated'. i don't know, i don't live with them anymore, so i don't ask nor do i pay attention.
12. Who are some of your closest friends?: well, sam obviously. i have a group of girls that i kind of hang out with in west chester, they include: christina, sam, jess and jenn, and then there's random guys i hang out with sometimes too. the girls are obviously the closest. then there's laressa who lives forever away and stuff. punkass. :)

i dunno, if you're curious and want to know more feel free to ask! (and if you're wondering absolutely nothing has changed since the last time i wrote in this thing... HOW BORING OMG)

oh yeah, sup dudes? yaknow, in the run around of everyday life, i always forget to update this piece. by now everything's pretty routine. i get up, i go to work, i come home, i play with the internet, i go to sleep. some days i go to sam's. some days i don't work and i just sleep all day. it's kind of nice. it's getting warmer, i like it. a lot.
( birthdays were the worst days, now we drink champagne when we're thirstayyyy )

but yeah. don't think i've been neglecting you lj. i've been reading, i've just been a lazy commenter. it happens. i'll be around, ya know.






and you can do this if you want :)

Comment on this meme and I will:
1. Tell you why I friended you..
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word, etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ.

my ever-growing birthday wish list includes:

1. spore
2. my tv and wii back from my sister (see, i'm easy to please, no money spent for that one)
3. cake decorating classes
4. to get into college again
5. a vacation to somewhere other than the new jersey shore (though at this point a beach trip would be really nice, but it's still too cold.)
6. my tattoo touched up, though getting the angel done would be nice too.

don't worry, i'll keep you posted. i'm going to be 22 in three effing weeks. that sucks.

i got my macbook!!!!!! YAAAAAAYYYY =) =) =) 



feel free to stalk me as needed. and you know i want to video chat the shit out of you. for now my sn is meeeeeeeea, but i'm thinking i need a new, much less complicated one. unless i continue never talking to people online. BUT LET'S DO IT UP.


=)




now i just have to work my ass off to pay my credit cards and i will be SO HAPPY YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW !

yeah, definitely am now addicted to tumblr. so many gorgeous pictures and awesome quotes, i can't get enough. there is one that is '1001 things i want in my next lover' and i agree with so many of them. and there are a lot that sam does, and i was just reading them and totally swooning.

speaking of, i'm an idiot. we're in a rut again and it's definitely all my fault. i can't help it. i just... i dunno. i ruin myself by overthinking. i make stupid decisions. i try to avoid him getting mad but i really just make everything worse. i don't want to keep doing this. i want us to be the way we used to be. i want to text him all day, i want to fall asleep with him, i want to wake up to him every morning. i really wish we could just skip the bullshit and live together, but i know it's not logical for me and my financial situation. i just wish we could just... DO something. maybe i'm being impatient. i'm just afraid the longer we stay like this the shorter our relationship will become. i really hate being inside my mind sometimes. i'm really just an idiot.


"Maybe that’s what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all."

because i needed something else to be addicted to on the internet... i mean really.



http://sensibleheartt.tumblr.com


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